HEY!

Yeah, me too.


Love- Barbie GF

MONSTER

Michael Vick is to be released from prison in a couple of months. This scares me and angers me and makes me really emotional. According to the Daily News, he has been playing football in prison to 'keep his arm loose'. I hope the NFL is not thinking of signing this monster to a new team. Do they realize they will be supporting this loser's thirst for money and power? Because that's the only reason he created that horrible life for those defenseless animals. Money from betting on the dogfights and the power from drowning those dogs while they look at him with their eyes wondering, 'why is this happening to me?' Dogs are domesticated. They have feelings and emotions. They want nothing more than to please their master. How could someone electrocute, drown, hang, and beat something that just wants to love you? A MONSTER.

Daily News: "He's likely the first player picked when the inmates are choosing up sides or the guards are choosing up sides for them. Vick's sprinter speed surely comes in handy just in case a dog-loving inmate thinks it's cool to sack an NFL quarterback and break his shoulder."

Hey! Vick! Someone hurting your shoulder is the least of your worries. This is what I hope happens to you during your last months is prison. Ready?

I hope you get your head bashed in by your cellmate. 'Celly' in prison terms. Then, I hope a Latin King ass rapes you with a splintered broom stick. Then I hope a Blood fucks your mouth and then pisses and defecates on your chin. Then, I hope a Crip wraps dental floss around the tips of your fingers so they fall off. Might be hard to throw a ball with no fingertips, huh? Then, I would hope the Bloods and Crips would unite and find a way to shove sandpaper to the inside of your eyelids. Then drown you in 30 second intervals in the toilet. Last but not least, I hope the White Supremacists shank you every day until you walk out of that prison. But not before they tattoo your entire body with 'I LOVE COCK'.

You have a lot of bad energy and emotional outbursts waiting for you when you're back in the real world, honey. That's worse than all the prison nightmares you've been having. Good luck, fucker. I really hope I don't run into you at Coffee Bean or something.


Fuck you- Wrath of Barbie.

DON'T!!!

DON'TS=KITTEN HEELS.
Jesus. DO NOT=DON'T.
They are NOT sexy, cute, or cool.

Hey-Wear flats!
-snakeskin, ballerina
-flats are fucking CUTE!

Hey-Wear sexy heels! (i.e. NOT kitten)
-"comfort" is cool, but don"t compromise to the dark side.
-hugemongous heels comfy to the max if you do it right
-HIGH heels are just COOL!

There is no 'tween. NONE.

i love if you if you listen to me-jem

alicia silverstone

How do we have so many dudes in common?

WHAT else do we have in common?

Seriously?

- :-/ jem gf

hocrastinating life

I text with my female musician friend last night while studying my brains out.

GF:"Sometimes,I wonder if I just wanna play music 'cuz I'm boy crazy. Kidding, Kinda'. There are the hottest, coolest dudes playing on my record."

GF ME: "Aw, no man, I get it. Sometimes, I wonder if I only want to be a scientist so that i can be career-obsessed, rich, and alone."

GF: "Yeah, totally rich and surrounded by tall, hot, skinny dudes."

GF ME: "Yeah, me, too! That! Yeah!"

GF: "BIG DICKS AND MONEY! WHAT ELSE IS THERE?"

I think that is what we are all trying to figure out.

In our defense, we aren't discussing gold-digging or cheating. We are talking about pure motivation to get awesome in our respective (and very different) careers)!

i never said otherwise- jem gf

schoolhouse rock

Disco Barbie has made it unofficial harsh-attack on exes week!

Six dudes that I have "dated" in LA have pulled the same texting usage move. WHY?
They are dumb enough to not know, oh wait, OR GOOGLE " forms of your" while chilling poolside, texting wicked-starfucking -hosebeasts all damn day.
They are smart enough to know that I judge you when you use poor grammar. Almost all other words of the novellas that we text back and forth are spelled out correctly and not abbreviated, except "YER".

"Can't wait to see YER fine ass, baby."
"YER on the list plus two, honey."
"Send me a picture of you in YER panties, sexy."
"YER the only girl for me, babydoll."
"Are you at YER house or Club Myhouse?"
"How's my angel this morning, YER good?"

I am not the boss of punctuation/grammar/usage. I often misuse. I often misuse on purpose. I don't know why this particular trend gets under my skin,but it really does.

Is there a secret Hollywood dude workshop for when you make your first million?
When you are more than a thousandaire, you can spell like an asshole. Meeting adjourned.

your ex gf- jem

YOU Are the Reason I Have Migraines.

This is true. All of you assholes in THIS Los Angeles have contributed to the wealth of Excedrin Migraine. I hope you're happy. I should be the spokeswoman for this God-given medication. It's either this, Jim Beam, or Cocaine to make you assholes bearable and since I'm off the sauce and narcotics, DON'T FUCK WITH ME.

WHO are the assholes? You ready??

YOU are. If I get one more Facebook invite to read about '25 Facts About Your Life', or another invite and key in the mail to 'My House', I am going to lose it. Quit it already! I'm tired. I'm burnt out. My ears hurt from your whining over Fiddy in the club. You are actually making my brain bleed. I'm sure of it.

You know the social suicide 'spaces' that have spread over the universe like The Blob? And how most of them ask you to answer "Who I Would Like To Meet"? For me it's more like, "Who I Would Like To Un-Meet". I'll name a few for you...

1. My ex-boyfriend, The Croatian Soccer player who beat me up one day and said "Go clean yourself up". Morbid and depressing? Never. I'm actually able to laugh at it now! Where the fuck did he think he was? A rerun of "The Bold and the Beautiful"?

2. My ex-boyfriend, the Emo Rockstar. Who decided to break up our relationship/non-relationship because he wasn't ready to "be in a relationship". But wanted to anal play with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then take me to his parents house for some enchiladas. This is not "Nip/Tuck". (Btw, I hear he's dating a hermaphrodite who doesn't shave "IT'S" legs). Blaachhkk!

3. My ex-boyfriend, the Traveling CEO. This one had a hidden love for hookers. Well, kept it hidden from me. But somehow Los Angeles was able to keep a secret! Haha, go figure. This one actually has a goatee now. I saw it with my own eyes. Is that really coming back? I thought only Tom Green was able to have a goatee. Whatever, both of you are fucking idiots.

4. My ex-sleeping friend, American Psycho. This is when I started slumming and decided that fucking the help would be a great idea. Until he told me "I like fucking you on your period, baby. I imagine my 11 inch cock is making you bleed". Yeah, yeah, I know. T-M-I!!! Well, it was too much information for me to have and I was tired of having it on my brain. So now I have passed it on. Run with it.

5. All of the Rami Atherton's, Michael Bellasario's, and random club promoters that I don't know that think they know me. I just named two of them and I have never met them in the human form. They must be 'Club Angels' because I get many invites and texts from them but have never actually seen one! Could there be such a thing as a 'Club Angel'? I think I will change that to 'Club Reaper'. Because they are tryin' to take my soul. NAN, FUCKERS! Get offa maay!!!

6. Paris Hilton. Just because. She ruins everything. All of the time. She should go to 'That Island' and fuck all the dudes my girlfriend and I passed on. And take her FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) sister with her.


Ok, great. I have a migraine. What's new.


No love today- Barbie Girlfriend