HAPPY bulk text blocker eve!

On account of me celebrating life every single day of this calendar year and every single calendar year for the past fifteen years, I do NOT need to write about New Years Eve. What a special day! PSYCH!!!
Won't it be fun to wear special dresses and have a beautiful meal? Drink too many bottles of champagne and dance all night? Make out with strangers from midnight-sunrise? Clink glasses with my best friends and gush about how lucky and fabulous we are? THAT SOUNDS LIKE A TUESDAY!!! NOT A HOLIDAYYYYYYY!

So, I have a minute to finish developing this bulk text blocking downloadable application that I have been working on since that dreadful "Turkey Day, pilgrim, gobble gobble" bullshit began the holiday bulktextraveganza. Hopefully, I can have it up and running to operate 'round Valentines Day (eh. shudder.) and/or every day that a promoter weasels your digits outta' you.

Hey-I have an idea! If you are thinking of bulk texting me about ANYTHING-DON'T!

There are not too many better ways to make me feel UN-special. I mean, I guess bringing 5 models on our vacation is a close second. CLOSE.

love- jem girlfriend

tramp-osaurus rex

I had dinner with an old family friend this evening. Here are some quotes.

(All in an EYE-talian accent):

"You been whorin' round, you-sonofabitch. I hear things."

"Don't cho' lie to me, Tramp-osaurus Rex, I know 'bout your boyfriends."

HIM: "There are a lot of Mooses here, tonight. [At dinner]"
ME: "What? Mooches? Here? At the Restaurant? Huh?
HIM: "No, you sonofabitch, MOOSES-An ugly fucking animal. Ugly horns. FAT. Worthless. Just fuckin' ugly."

Aaaahh-reasons # 874, 875, & 876 NOT to get into organized crime.

love-jem girlfriend

your heart=my piñata

I mean it every single time that I get engaged. I really do.

...'Till I realize all of the reasons that we do NOT have each other’s backs. {Aha! PROLLY THE BIGGEST PROBLEM, EVER!}

...And that I get butterflies from all sorts of things. {BYE ,BYE BUTTERFLIES, ASSHOLE. HELLO BUTTERFLIES FROM HOPEFULS.}

...You prolly just wanna 'seal the deal' 'cuz you are a business-minded dude. {SUCCESS SUPERCEDES EMOTIONAL CONTENT.}

...You've never met a girl like this before, so you should tie me down and lock me away while I am still young enough to think that you are legit. [I AM NOT A DOLLY/YOUR DOLLY.}

...Oh, WAITTT, when you said that you "loved reading in bed, just like me", you MEANT 'STAR WARS' NOVELS? {DEAL BREAKER.}

...Oohhh, uh, yeahhh,.. You can't quit being a hoover/social crack smoker with that guy from Celebrity Rehab? [DRUGGIE COUPLES ARE FOR ASSHOLES.}

...Because I DO NOT REALLY BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU DAMN WELL MEAN IT. {COMMITMENT IS A BIG FUCKIN' DEAL. I.E. DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU WANNA KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS. MEAN 'TILL YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS. LIKE, FOREVER.}

I dunno what the hot combo is, really. I DO know that I have been engaged more than anyone that I know and married zero.

love- jem gf

action expresses priorities.

VOCAB HOUR!!!

BBD=BIGGER BETTER DEAL

EXAMPLES OF LA BBD CONFLICT/TURMOIL-

Child model vs. Grown ass woman?

Any member of the billionaire club vs. Date night w/ "boyfriend"?

Yet, another holiday vs. Responsibilities?

Hot
Rich
Famous vs. Real?
Bad
Cool

The club+table+bottle vs. Your feelings?

A great story vs. Going to bed at a decent hour?

Luxury accommodations vs. Thinking for yourself?

Going fast vs. Going slow?

BEING BAD vs. BEING GOOD?

"And maybe you don't go to hell for the things you do. Maybe you go to hell for the things you don't do.”
-Chuck Palahniuk

What's yo' BBD?

love-strategist jem girlfriend

nerd party 101

Did you ever make a sex tape? With your University advisor AND another professor? Well, I mean, just with your advisor. While a professor filmed it? Not YOUR professor! JUST A professor? Like, from the philosophy department or something.

I was just wondering.

love-strategist jem girlfriend

brian science burn out/gangsta'

When I am not getting up to utter shenanigans, I am a scientist. I will eventually be a neurologist, but right now, just a brain scientist. I FUCKING LOVE SCIENCE! Academia is the OTHER reason that I am alive. I love getting A’s. I love studying. I love that there is an ongoing challenge rattling ‘round my head that MUST GET TO MASTERY LEVEL. The field of neuroscience serves me a plate of humble pie! I bitch and moan that there is “nothing new”, “nothing special” in my social life every single day. And then, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh, let some, circadian rhythms, biological psychology, neuroendocrinology, hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis, hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis, neurotransmitters, homeostasis, dimorphic sexual-behavior, motor control, sensory processing, photo reception, organizational/activational effects of hormones, drug/alcohol effects on your noggin’ let me know how much I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING!”

Life is more interesting when I apply this knowledge to my life/lifestyle/relationships.

Life is worth living when I focus on how I will study baby brains ‘till I discover ways that I will help kids that need me.

Life is…uh…all of these other things…too…I guess

My education keeps me in check. My education also burns me out. If you haven’t noticed, I sure feel like I deserve to drink and fuck and blow off steam any way that I see fit.

AHAHAHAHHAHA! Just like Natalie Portman says on her SNL gangsta’ rap about life at Harvard…

Guys: “What you want, Natalie?”
Natalie Portman: “TO DRINK AND FIGHT.”

Guys: ‘What you need, Natalie?”
Natalie Portman: "TO FUCK ALL NIGHT.”

Well? See. She gets it.

love- strategist gem girlfriend

endless summer

Ingrate fuckhead entry #87=Sometimes, i want out of this life. And I am not the only one. In all seriousness, my friends and I discuss how to find actual contentment in this world of holiday, jewels, parties, dinners, clubs, luxury, luxury, fabulous, fabulous. I cannot even count how many times one of us has muttered, "UHHHGH-I can't possibly drink ONE more bottle of Veuve, Dom, Patron, etc...It doesn't even matter that they bring it to the table with a ho train holding sparklers high above their heads... " See also:” Lobster is too rich to eat everyday." See also:" I'm tired of vacation. I just want to come back to 'real life' (LA)." See also: "Young Hollywood are not REAL PEOPLE." See also: "Awards season is just TOO MUCH for me." See also:" I don't really WANT to drive up the coast and eat the finest caviar, I just want Mexican food and a movie." See also: "I can't leave till tomorrow because he won't let me fly coach." See also: "I have already had four spa days this week, why would i want to go AGAIN?" See also: "I wish that we didn't have sheriff license plates on the Maserati. I'm tired of lapping it with 2 leggy babes at 90 mph down Sunset because we can."

I think it is like when you are little and you say , "When i grow up i will eat cake and ice cream everyday." And then you get big and cake for breakfast everyday makes you sick. And fat.

I think that this life is making me sick and fat, too.

love-strategist jem girlfriend