your heart=my piñata

I mean it every single time that I get engaged. I really do.

...'Till I realize all of the reasons that we do NOT have each other’s backs. {Aha! PROLLY THE BIGGEST PROBLEM, EVER!}

...And that I get butterflies from all sorts of things. {BYE ,BYE BUTTERFLIES, ASSHOLE. HELLO BUTTERFLIES FROM HOPEFULS.}

...You prolly just wanna 'seal the deal' 'cuz you are a business-minded dude. {SUCCESS SUPERCEDES EMOTIONAL CONTENT.}

...You've never met a girl like this before, so you should tie me down and lock me away while I am still young enough to think that you are legit. [I AM NOT A DOLLY/YOUR DOLLY.}

...Oh, WAITTT, when you said that you "loved reading in bed, just like me", you MEANT 'STAR WARS' NOVELS? {DEAL BREAKER.}

...Oohhh, uh, yeahhh,.. You can't quit being a hoover/social crack smoker with that guy from Celebrity Rehab? [DRUGGIE COUPLES ARE FOR ASSHOLES.}

...Because I DO NOT REALLY BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE UNLESS YOU DAMN WELL MEAN IT. {COMMITMENT IS A BIG FUCKIN' DEAL. I.E. DO NOT PRETEND THAT YOU WANNA KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS. MEAN 'TILL YOU WANT TO KEEP YOUR DICK IN YOUR PANTS. LIKE, FOREVER.}

I dunno what the hot combo is, really. I DO know that I have been engaged more than anyone that I know and married zero.

love- jem gf