When ducks stand in a line to sleep, the ones on the far left side leave their left cortex awake, so that they can keep their left eye open to look for killers. The ducks on the right do the same with their right side and right peeper. And dude, the ones in the middle get to totally sleep. Yeah, really.
This is the model for my friendships in LA. Even when we are half-brained/half-asleep, i want my friends to be LOOKING out. And if i get to be that middle lucky duck, totally asleep, i really need to lean on my row to tell me the score.
"Do NOT go home with that dude. He leases that Benz with every cent to his name and is gonna take you to his studio apartment on Fountain with filthy beige carpet and fucked up mini-blinds. He is trying to get you to leave early 'cuz his actor/male-model roommate gets off work at Saddle Ranch, soon, and will be bringing home additional filthy bar pigs to that studio apartment."
"That dude has a GIRLFRIEND! Don't listen to him. They have been together for 8 years, but he keeps her hidden in a coach house in Studio City."
"I know that you just polished off a bottle of absinthe and you are crawling around the club, pretending to be Tawny Kitaen, but that dude is a plastic-surgery-face-BAD-man. I heard he has child models buried under his infinity pool."
ONE of us has to leave one eye open. At all times.
love-
strategist jem girlfriend
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