just like edward

Last week, I had the ultimate ‘run your mouth to your boys’ experience. It ended up turning into some real “pretty woman” bullshit. NOTE: not taking my “nothing good happens after 2AM” advice and I go to house after party with friends. I make out with this attractive, yet, not-the-brightest-crayon-in-the-box-dude that has been on my nuts for months. Not 10 minutes after coming back upstairs to join the party, does dull crayon’s LITTLE BROTHER approach me. Younger, less attractive, and apparently psychologically damaged, missing-a-social-filter-little brother says, “Uh, my brother just said that was the best he has ever had. And, uh, he doesn’t say tings like that, I mean, EVER. So , what’s up, what’s the fuss all about? What does he mean THAT GOOD. Do you think that you could show me? Like, right now, show me what is SO GREAT. No one has to know. C’mon, I WANNA KNOW.” Oh, man. Dark places. Dark places like those dark alleys that you should WATCH YOUR BACK IN from now on, little brother.

Remember “PRETTY WOMAN’, when the little, less-attractive lawyer tries to beat down pretty Julia?
“Right now I am just freaking out. So maybe if I screw you, huh,and take you to the opera, then I could be a happy guy, just like Edward.”

love-
strategist jem girlfriend