You ever want to just "not feel it"? You know, that pit in your stomach that keeps turning every time you think of 'him' or 'her'? Well, believe it or not, here in this LA, there is a pill and it's not hard to find. My love affair with Klonopin developed after my Rockstar Emo Boyfriend broke up with me after nine months because "he just wasn't ready for a relationship". Ok, let 's talk about that for a second. When you spend every day with your girl or guy or dog, IT'S A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP! When you introduce your better half to the family, IT'S A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP! When you're having anal on the regular, you guessed it...
Which takes us to that night at Koi. Of course Rockstar Emo Boyfriend wants to call me on my way to a family dinner. And when I say 'Family Dinner' it means four or more friends that you have known at least six months. So, Rockstar Emo Boyfriend, my ex relationship not relationship, is white rapping to me with his permanent beat scratching DJ rolling around in his head (WEECKA WEECKA SCRATCH WEECKA), "I really miss you". Are you fucking kidding me? This valet line at Koi and Nickelback on the radio is enough to make me want to play in the La Cienega traffic and you want to call about your feelings?? Ughh.
I finally sit down to dinner with the family and I've had it. I belt out with exhaustion, "GOD! I wish there was a pill that could make you just NOT FEEL!" And low and behold that firey Redhead Heiress across from me says "one second". She digs deep into her Limited Edition Hermes Crocodile Baby Possum bag and a plethora of medical treatments spill out onto the table and into my Spicy Tuna Crispy Rice. And there it was. My new love, Klonopin.
Love-
Disco Barbie Girlfriend
No comments:
Post a Comment